Tremble
by atheart101
Summary: She felt his hands caress her back. He lifted her chin with his fingers and she took in those blue eyes. God how she had missed those eyes. *Warning, it's another sad one. My bad, guys.*


**A/N: Okay so please don't kill me. I seem to be in a funk these days. I blame the finale. But here's my next story. I should have the next chapter of Torrent up within a couple days, too. Possibly ch. 14 as well. Apparently it's true what they say about 13 being unlucky. But I shall forge through. And it will be fluffy. I promise. But I digress. This story was inspired by the last verse of the song "Tremble" by Charlotte Martin, shown below. If you haven't already, go listen to it. It'a amazing. K, I'm done. Go read : ) xoxo Aubrey**

_Between the sacred and profane_

_Nobody hears me chant your name_

_Another year has gone again_

_And I will never be the same _

_I keep you close under my breath_

"Tremble" by Charlotte Martin

"You would have liked today, Rick," she murmured, curling her feet up underneath her body in front of him. "The butler actually did it." A small chuckle escaped her lips as she watched his eyes widen and his mouth form a small 'o'.

"And I missed it?" She heard him say, "How come I seem to be missing all the cool cases lately?"

"Because I only tell you about the ones you'd like," she replied, "You hate the boring cases." She nudged his shoulder. "Almost as much as you hate me doing paperwork."

"Well paperwork is boring," he returned. "I just sit there. At least your mind is engaged."

"I'm sure that's the best term to describe how we all find paperwork."

"No? how about fascinating? Enthralling? Oo! I know! Captivating."

Kate rolled her eyes. "I tell you what. Next time I play Angry Birds and you do paperwork. Deal?"

"Absolutely not! I'm in the heat of battle, Kate. I can't let you take my glory from me."

Kate laughed. "You'd only mess it up anyway. So I suppose we should stick to our own jobs." She suddenly sobered and looked over at him. She found him staring back.

"Are you still mad?" He asked quietly.

"I'm not mad, Rick, not anymore."

"Is that why I haven't seen you in a while?"

"I just needed time. It wasn't your place to—"

"You'd be dead if I hadn't though, Kate."

"And how is this any better?" She cried out. "I have to come visit you here. You can't come to work anymore. And Alexis—"

"Will be fine," he interrupted. "She comes and visits me too, you know, though not as much now that she's gone back to college. She and Ashley are still going strong, by the way."

"Yeah, I do know. We're talking more nowadays."

"You finally realized she forgives you for what happened?"

"I don't deserve her forgiveness. I made her a promise, Rick."

"She knew that if it came down to you or me it would be you. Always. I made a promise to you, too, love."

"But she—"

"Has you when she can't have me."

Kate sighed. A quiet fell over them and Kate took in her surroundings. He was right. She hadn't visited him in a while. She just couldn't. Not until today. "I'm sorry," she whispered. The dam threatened to break and she choked back the tears. "I'm so sorry."

"Katie," he soothed. And she felt his hands caress her back. He lifted her chin with his fingers and she took in those blue eyes. God how she had missed those eyes. "It's okay, love. Don't be sorry. There's no room for sorry anymore. I'd make the same decision were it to happen again. I regret nothing. Look at our life together. You, me, Alexis, and our little Johanna. I told you once I would do anything for you. I don't regret making good on that promise."

"I miss you," she whispered through the tears she couldn't seem to stop. And she did. She missed his crazy theories, his gentle smile, his jokes, the way he pulled her pigtails to keep her smiling. It was because of him her job turned into something she not only believed in, but loved and enjoyed. She needed him back at work, back in everything.

"I miss you, too. You should visit more often," he chided gently, trying to lighten the mood again. He won. A small smile lit her face.

"Can you come to work with me tomorrow?" She asked after a few minutes.

"Don't I always?" He asked softly, folding her into an embrace. She just sighed into his chest.

"She turned two today."

"Our little girl is growing up," he said wistfully. Rick pressed a kiss to the top of her head. "Terrible twos or more like Alexis?"

Kate chuckled. "She's an angel, Rick. A complete angel."

"That's good," he murmured, holding her tight.

Kate's cell phone rang. "Beckett," she sighed, frowning. After a few moments she nodded. "Okay, I'll be right there."

"New case?" He asked.

"The city never sleeps." She stood up from his embrace and felt the chill settle over her again. Kate looked down at the rose she brought him. Kate placed it on his headstone.

Richard Edgar Castle

Beloved Husband, Father, and Friend

April 1, 1971 – November 21, 2015

Together We Stand. Always.

Kate let the tears fall and took a few more moments. It had been a year since he took the bullet that took his life and saved hers. A year since he left his family and friends. A year since he left her. All she wanted was another moment to tell him how much she loved him. How much she needed him. How much they all needed him. She just wanted another moment to feel his embrace, see the light in his eyes, hear his voice. Just one more moment. She fingered the ring she still wore on her finger.

"I'll see you tomorrow?" She asked, hoping to hear him again, to feel his presence.

"Always," came his answer, close to her ear. She felt his hand on the small of her back as he guided her away from his resting place. She refused to call it a grave. Because then he was truly gone. "Now go and live, Kate. Live for me. Live for our girls. Live for the dead that you speak for. And I'll be by your side. Always."

Then he was gone, the breeze carrying his whisper on the wind. But his hand remained on the small of her back, pushing her forward as it had since the day he left her life. And she new there it would always stay.

"I love you," she whispered. She turned back and ran her fingers along the top of his headstone before tracing her inscription at the bottom. "Always."


End file.
